Influencing attitude is more than half the battle when it comes to creating a positive work environment. And the best way to influence attitudes is to set the example. Most of the behaviors that leaders need to demonstrate are easy to understand, but can be difficult to implement on a consistent basis. This is especially true during times of significant change because of the stress that you sometimes experience as a result of that change.

Think about the occasions in the office, shop or workplace when people are getting on one another’s nerves and productivity is suffering. I’ll bet your ability to help resolve or minimize the conflict is in direct proportion to how you are feeling and reacting at the time. Notice I didn’t say just feeling... I said feeling and reacting. This relates back to the first two competencies of Emotional Intelligence. They are: self-awareness and self-regulation. You must first be aware of how you are feeling and then regulate your reaction to those feelings. And as I said earlier, this is sometimes easier said than done.

Remember that feelings are neither right nor wrong, they just are. It’s your reactions to feelings that can sometimes get you in trouble. When employees see you react calmly and look for the positive, they are more likely to do the same.

Most of us learned this lesson as children... “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” Consider these consequences when you ignore that childhood lesson.

• If a leader is aggravated at a counterpart or his/her boss it’s important for them to regulate their reactions to the feeling they are having. Otherwise, team members see and even participate in the negativity. It’s like adding fuel to a fire, it can only make matters worse.
• If you tend to say negative things you are thinking about other people, remember that you are setting an environment for gossip and spreading negativity. In addition, you are losing credibility because others will wonder what you say about them behind their backs.
• Even if what you are about to say is true, before allowing it to spill from your mouth ask yourself this, “Is what I am about to say going to be useful and contribute to a positive work environment in any way?” If the answer to that question isn’t yes, and it seldom will be, why say it.

I’d like to suggest that not watching what you say may better be described as anti-leadership instead of leadership. Be a leader!

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